The "After Party"

My parents were able to sneak away at the last minute and showed up for Phoebe's birthday party. The next few days were fun for the girls to have some grandparents, auntie, and cousins to play with.

Phoebe's expressions are so telling they make us laugh. Who needs words to communicate when you have looks like these?

Papa and Tessa levitating.

Tessa loves cousin "Wibiff". Tim loves saying Wibiff in his deepest bass and sound like a frog. Tessa doesn't even say Wibiff anymore, she says Lizabeff but we still enjoy calling her Wibiff.

Didn't mind the lighting on this one because their smiles were so real.

Day trip to Patagonia Lake, 10 or 15 miles north of the Mexican border. It was surprisingly warm considering the elevation (4000 ft). Tessa got right in and even went under a few times. I tried to explain to her that we don't open our eyes under water in a lake.

The peak to the right, directly above the little white buoy is Mt. Hopkins, which is north, near us, and has an observatory on the peak at 8585ft. It was a weird perspective.

Mexican buffet brunch, a typical Ziegler outing.

Reid Park Zoo, playing in the splash area.

At dinner the balloon man made her a chihuahua, which she named Copper in honor of our neighbor's chihuahua.

She asked me to feed him a Scooby snack.

Eight is Great!

Phoebe's eighth birthday portraits - She's always had a baby face, and I love that she still has dimples on her knuckles, but this crazy phase of grown up teeth mixed in with empty spaces and baby teeth is a telling sign that she is growing up. Eight years ago we were spending as many hours a day in the hospital as we could arrange with her birthmom, the hospital and the adoption agency. We were worried about all the rules, her birthmom's emotions and Phoebe's baffling health concerns. The fact that 9/11 had just happened was too much to process in the NICU. We just wanted to bring her home and sort it all out later. We wanted to take her to doctors of our own choosing, not the ones the hospital assigned. We wanted to show her off to our family in person, not with stacks of photos that all looked the same (because how many different angles can you take of a sleeping baby?). Maybe our paparazzi style introduction to photography is what caused her to hate the camera for years. Thankfully she seems to be somewhat more tolerant of it in recent years and we are able to record the smiles, the looks, the moments that make her who she is. I never knew such love until the day she was born and it grows year after year, if that's even possible.

Phoebe's Enchanted Garden Party

Phoebe turned eight this month and we decided it was a good year to have a "big" party for her. I wanted this year to be special because in our culture the eighth birthday is a milestone year; a milestone which Phoebe does not need to participate in - being baptised. Her innocence keeps her safe from the sorrow of the world but I still wanted to create some special memories on this birthday. Her birthday present was a 15 foot trampoline set up in our newly completed backyard, so the yard became the perfect party location. A friend passed along a website that had fantastically frilly party favors, so the backyard get together became an enchanted garden party inhabited by fairies and knights. A neighborhood friend makes fancy cakes and I commissioned a girly cake and cupcake bouquet from her. Another friend is an amazing cook and together we came up with an appetizing spread, that she offered to prepare almost exclusively, so we basically had a caterer! Jen made tandoori chicken with tzatziki sauce, baja chicken roll ups, spinach dip boule, crudite platter, pizza rolls and pigs in blankets. I added chips and my famous guacamole, my niece Elizabeth made PBJs and cut them into garden shapes with cookie cutters, my friend Amber brought the ever popular Rice Krispie treats and my friend Jessie brought a big bowl of fruit that totally made my dad's day. It was an amazing spread and I'm sad that I didn't think to take a picture of it.

As soon as the kids (21 total!) arrived most headed straight for the trampoline. While waiting for a turn on there (Tim did a great job refereeing the jumping to prevent injuries) others couldn't wait to slip'n'slide. I had some games planned but the kids were staying busy playing on their own so why bother? Eventually the kids meandered towards the food (where the 13! adults had already been happily sampling) and replenished their energy. I had planned to hand out the party favors at the beginning but it actually worked out well to hand them out halfway through, because the slip'n'slide had been retired and the jumping was more organized so we didn't have any broken wings or sword injuries. When I brought out the cake I set it on a kid's table to be in Phoebe's line of sight and a crowd of fairies quickly gathered around it. I couldn't even light the eight candles before someone blew them out again, or reached out to grab one. I eventually got them all lit, continuously, while we sang to Phoebe who loved it. I invited the fairies to help blow them out "on three" and my sister and Tim both cringed in disgust at all the germs that went flying. After cake and cupcakes were consumed some of the kids were begging to see their gift opened. Phoebe received some awfully cute clothes and fun toys. As the guests were leaving they were given one last token to remember the day by; a "magic wand" made from pretzel sticks dipped in chocolate (also made by Jen!). I'm so grateful to have such awesome friends and wonderful family who care enough to give their time and energy to make Phoebe's day extra extra special (not to mention my life so much easier!). It was a wonderful day.

Thoughts of a 3 year old

Tessa has started using the term "bad guys" with her definition hinging on what she sees in Wizard of Oz and Sleeping Beauty. She knows that good and bad guys fight and she knows that someone (usually the bad guy) gets killed as a result of the fight. She knows that "kill" applies to mosquitoes and she also knows that people can be killed, a subject I felt compelled to introduce to her after she snuck off away from Mommy on a second nerve wracking occasion. She crossed a main street in our neighborhood by herself before I could catch up to her, and walked alone the equivalent of about two blocks. I explained during her time out (after getting no reaction to other attempts to explain the severity of her action) that cars can't see her because she is little and if a car hit her she would get squished like a bug and be killed and sleep and not wake up. Her lip trembled as she repeated back to me what she understood and I feared I'd gone too far, but I truly didn't know how else to get such a serious point across. She seems to understand these concepts as well as a three year old can.

Tonight as Tessa was going to bed she got her nightly phone call to Daddy. His radio was pretty active in the background and she asked what it was. He explained that he was pretty busy helping his friends (code for anybody in a uniform) look for the bad guys. She repeated back to him "bad guys?" and then her chin began to quiver and she asked "are the bad guys going to kill Daddy and then he won't..." and her voice trailed off as she thought of how to say what she was thinking. Daddy reassured her that he was safe and I told her that Daddy has LOTS of friends that are all going to keep each other safe. She seemed to be calm after that and moved on to saying goodnight and talking about dreams. It made my throat catch to see her get so sad and worry about Daddy. It reminded me that even though he has a blast doing his job it is dangerous. In the three years he's been in there have been two "friends" murdered, and others who died on duty in accidents. I have trouble imagining the wives of those men trying to explain to their young children why their daddy's won't be coming home. It's good to be reminded that every day is precious.

While she is still learning complex ideas, she showed me the other night that concrete ideas are no problem at all. As usual she was up and down, wandering around the house and continually moving during dinnertime. After many reprimands and warnings I told her "stay in your seat until you finish your dinner". Without missing a beat she picked up her chair, holding it tightly to her bottom, and walked away from the table. Yes, I laughed.

Winner of the Best Dad contest

Shortly before Father's Day I met my sister and her family at Texas Roadhouse for dinner. There is one conveniently located in between us so it may become a tradition. They were asking the kids to enter their dads in the "Best Dad" contest so I "helped" Phoebe nominate her Daddy. It went something like this, "My Dad is the best because even though he works a long day and gets home at 3 in the morning he always let's me get in his bed when I wake up scared or lonely". Her entry won him a free dinner and she got a free kid's meal too. They love the "peanut" restaurant, and we love it because it's loud and messy, even before we get there!

National Night Out

A friend of mine wrangled me into Neighborhood Watch and made me a block captain. I helped plan the National Night Out, where neighborhoods are encouraged to meet their local law enforcement agencies and get to know each other in an effort to be more aware of the community happenings. It had a great turnout and even the thunder storm that rolled in didn't dampen the party. Everyone just hung out right up until the rain came pouring down! Phoebe did not enjoy the sirens that were occasionally on for the kids to try out but Tessa loved it. A week later she is still talking about meeting Daddy's friends at the park and McGruff the crime dog.

Tessa got a whistle from the SPD.

The most visible agency in our neck of the woods.

McGruff meeting some kids. The officer under the awning ("Big Al") was so cool, I hope he's the next one to pull me over.
We want one of these to keep at our house all the time.

A little girl driving a big truck. Reminds me of my aunt Dana (a Mira Mesa Fire Captain).

Make-a-Wish

At Phoebe's most recent genetics appointment I inquired to the doctor about the Make-a-Wish foundation and if he felt it was appropriate to apply for Phoebe. The charity originally fulfilled wishes of terminally ill children but has expanded their scope to include children with life threatening diseases. He felt that Phoebe's general diagnosis being unkown as well as her suspected seizures and cerebral palsy made it appropriate to apply for her. He signed the papers and his office sent them in and we immediately got a phone call to go over our info. We just received an official welcome packet and notification that they are going to grant Phoebe a wish! It's going to be a challenge to think of the perfect thing that she wants since she is nonverbal. Horses, roller coasters and traveling are the ideas we are exploring.

Little Fish

We spent a lot of time at the pool this summer and Tessa was losing all her reservations about being under water or away from the shallow steps. After a couple of friends recommended her, we decided to call Coach Maggie for some lessons. Tessa already loved jumping off the side into the deep water, but now she is allowed to jump without her floaties, next to Maggie who then directs her toward the wall for safety. She taught her the monkey crawl to get back to the shallow end, or "elbow, elbow, knee, knee" to remember how to climb out. She finally learned to blow bubbles when she goes under water (90% of the time) and kick her legs parallel to the water rather than try to keep them under her (50% of the time - still practicing that one). She learned to float on her back and use "monkey, star, soldier" arm movements to propel herself on her back. Tessa is a little daredevil and has no fear of being in the very deep end with either floaties or mom or dad. Some days she whined about doing her lesson, but once she got started she ended up having fun.

Floating on her back, only her head was supported (in this photo, she's holding hands but usually didn't)

Kicking and blowing bubbles while swimming to the wall.

Blowing bubbles when she goes under.