Summer Hair

My neighbor Kibby has a salon in her house and I figured she would do a better job cutting Phoebe's hair than I usually do. I was right. I asked for the very trendy Asymmetrical bob and it turned out so cute! Phoebe has perfect hair for it. It curls under, shows all the angles and I don't even have to point out her incredible highlights. She has the hair that every curly headed person I know would love to have!

Tessa's natural curls are enough to make Shirley Temple fans go nuts. This photo is post-pool so it's a little shaggy, but I took it because her curls air dried and that's when they look the best. Perfect little corkscrews.

My other neighbor Margaret used to do hair and did these fishtails on Tessa one day when she went over there to play. I had told her that I wanted to have Tessa's hair braided but couldn't find anyone who knew how, and my carpal tunnel hands would never last! Having only two braids made it fall out by the end of the day (I'm hoping that having multiple braids will make it last longer). But boy was it cute for a day!

L.Y.L.A.S. (Love Ya Like a Sista!)

It's fun to watch Tessa growing into a little girl, as she shows us more and more imagination, mimicking, and interest in those around her. As the mother of these two beautiful girls I have often wondered what their relationship will be like, knowing that no matter what it will be unique. Yesterday we watched as Tessa initiated a game with Phoebe. She would shake Phoebe's chair and Phoebe would laugh, she'd shake it again and Phoebe would laugh some more. (Phoebe has always found Tessa's antics amusing, but this was one of the first times we've noticed Tessa very obviously doing something to entertain Phoebe) When we play outside she likes riding her tricycle (she's a pro now) and I chase her with Phoebe. She gets a huge kick out of it and will say "gonna getchoo" as she pedals off away from us, but then she will slow down and let Phoebe grab the bar on the back of her tike. She has also recently become very concerned when she hears Phoebe crying when she wakes up and runs in to see her. Then today, another act of sweet, sisterly kindness was displayed by Tessa giving Phoebe some dog kibble to snack on. I let them into the garage and told them to play there for a minute (after which I ran back into the house to vacuum the family room since I can't do it when Phoebe is in earshot). When I returned to the garage all seemed well until I heard a crunch, crunch and knew that I had not sent them out there with any snacks. Tessa had put some kibble on the tray of Phoebe's chair and Phoebe naively trusted her sister's gift. Ah, it brings back memories...

Too Old

I have to admit that there are many days when I wish that Tessa would grow up a little bit faster. I have to remind myself that she is already pretty grown up for being only two. Even though she can count to twenty she doesn't understand age, so we have been coaching her to answer the people in the grocery store who inevitably ask "how old are you?" by replying "I am two years old". After a few coaching sessions I tried it out and asked her to reply to someone who asked. Her reply to "how old are you" was "TOO OLD". Perhaps a subliminal reminder to enjoy these early years while they last?

Some of her funny sayings lately:
ARTURO = Oh Toodles (from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse)
Thank you Mama! - unprompted after giving her anything she likes (cheese and crackers, her sippy cup....)
Tickle Phoebe - a way to get the attention off of her
Unexpectedly saying the names of any of our neighbors, their kids, dogs, etc. (example; garage door opens next door, Tessa yells MARGARET!, driving by the elementary school, Tessa yells JANET! (Phoebe's aide) )
Ooooollllllddd house - versus the new house. We tell her we are going to see our new house and she recognizes the route now. She also knows the route to the park and Sam's house and sometimes has a meltdown when we turn the opposite direction.
Hammer her - Hamburger, which I think is weird that she says this because she always declines tasting one
Combo - as in meal at a fast food restaurant. We just about burst at the seams one time when we bribed her to be good at the grocery store with french fries afterwards and before we got to the menu board to order she yelled out "Combo!".
Malbublaubuaulauabuurjfdjdualubalublurhfbululb - I have no idea but it always ends with something intelligible like "throw ball Dallas". She likes speaking in complete sentences but can't get the words out fast enough so she just makes some up.
Treeeeeeasure, treeeeeasure - the song the Backyardigans sing while playing pirates and looking for treasure. She grabs any piece of paper for a map and tells Dallas to come with her to find the treasure.
Green Bag - the bean bag chair in our family room where she likes to watch tv. Sometimes when she's sick or just crabby she begs for it. I found her sleeping there this morning at 5am.
Tail - her bum, which she likes to wag as she calls it a tail.
Excuse me - She started saying this a long time ago, mostly when tattling on anyone near her who burped and didn't say it themselves, but now it has expanded to other appropriate uses. It's just cute to her hear say it when a little boy bumps into her at the playground, or she walks in between two people. Makes me just a little proud since I never hear kids using manners when I'm out in public.
Beazey - As she's twirling in circles and making herself dizzy.
And last but not least, BOINGA! - Another Backyardigans moment, but it's so cute because she just unexpectedly jumps on you as she says it.
I'm sure there's a hundred more but I wanted to get some down at least before they were forgotten. As she is now sharing with everyone who asks, she is already "Too old".

The Graduate

Today was kindergarten graduation for Phoebe. I remember being so scared to send her to preschool when she was three. Now I think we are both scared for summer vacation when she will be home all day! She really loves being with other kids, and of course her aide Janet was like a back up mommy to her. I know she will miss being around all of them.

The photo above is of the class giving their "presentation" (singing songs). Phoebe is on the far right and Tessa is standing near her watching the class. She couldn't decide whether to sit or stand, watch or participate so she did a little bit of everything. Phoebe was falling asleep in her chair as the parents were arriving, but once the class started singing she was excited to do the hand motions along with them.

After the presentation, the class left the room and lined up outside to do the graduation walk. While the room was empty Tessa decided that an empty stage is a bad thing and volunteered to fill the void. She got right up where the kids had been and gave a little song or speech or something. It was too quiet for me to hear but she didn't seem shy about it at all. She stayed there for about a minute giving her own presentation, complete with hand gestures, to the audience.

The event concluded with the calling of names and presentation of diplomas. Phoebe was the last name called. I didn't move up in the world much by marrying a W. Photo below is Phoebe receiving her "diploma" from Mrs. Larkins with Janet's help.

Confessing My Addiction

I didn't even realize that I was addicted until I was forced to go without....technology. Now, I'm not talking about full-on, hard-core pioneer days here, but that's what makes it so pitiful.

~ About two weeks ago my cell phone was stolen. Okay, I left it at the mall playground, but I realized it very quickly and ran back to get it only a couple of minutes after leaving it and it was already gone. Later, I found out that some honest person (apparently there is still one out there) saw it and tried to get it back to me by calling some of my MyFaves people. He finally left a message on Tim's phone saying that he would leave it at the movie theatre office, presumably since the theatre was near the playground. This person did not make ANY other phone calls, downloads, or anything else that would have cost me money. Then he gave it to someone else, who more predictably was not honest, and I have never seen it since. I was able to suspend the account before anyone else tried to use it, so I'm only out about 20 bucks for an "upgrade" fee. It does weird me out knowing that I had some pictures on there though. I miss my phone. It was a nice phone. Nothing special, but it was thin and fit nicely in my pocket or purse, it also was a flat phone so I couldn't hang up on people accidentally like I always seem to do on a flip phone. The first day I was without it I was almost in a panic over not having it. Like a lifeline that has been cut. I can't call my friends at any random moment. I am coping better now, waiting impatiently for my replacement to arrive. What did I ever do without a cell phone???

~ Tim, being the handy guy that he is, took his truck apart in order to fix a valve or something. I don't know what it is. Tim, being the hard working guy that he is, has not had time to complete the project in over a month now, and therefore has to take the van to work most nights. Some nights he can carpool and at least he's working nights, so there are only a few hours of each day where I would even be able to go anywhere, but just knowing that I can't makes me feel somewhat claustrophobic. I never thought I'd miss the van. How do people ever survive without at least two cars per family? Even more unimaginable, how did they survive without cars at all? They farmed, I guess.

~ Our computer is dying. It won't be long before it joins all of the other piles of electronics in the great motherboard in the sky. I have to admit I have grown to love cable, more than I ever thought possible, for internet access. Light years ahead of DSL and let's not even talk about dial-up! But lately with our computer issues, hitting "enter" has resulted in 20-30-even 45 second wait times for a new page to load. This is a significant difference from fractions of a second. You laugh at me, I know, but try counting to 45 and then tell me just how long it really is. See??? You didn't even try it because you knew how long and boring it would be!

~ Okay, this one is just for laughs. Anyone else got Tivo? Well, DVR, I mean. I still call it Tivo because that was the first one we had, so like BandAids and Kleenex, they will all be called Tivos now. Anyway, one of my favorite things is the instant replay button. You can be watching anything on TV, not recorded, just regular live TV, and if you want to rewind it a few seconds you hit the instant replay. Well, I find myself hitting an imaginary replay button in the car when listening to the radio. It's like second nature now, if I missed something I hit replay and viola, I get a second chance to hear/see it. I find myself wondering when technology will catch up to all my ideas of how to make life convenient. Like, being able to email someone a tv program from my tv. That way I don't have to save all my Alaska recordings until I get around to taping them for Dad. I could just email it to his tv and be done with it. Good idea huh? I am already ahead of the current level of technology. :) I am fretting at being without my conveniences and anxiously awaiting more. Totally addicted.

Life in the Fast Lane

Tessa got a tricycle for Christmas and has only had occasional interest in it up until the last couple of weeks. I think it is the weather right now, enticing all of the neighborhood kids out into the street to play in the evenings. She really watches the bigger kids when they are riding. She goes faster in reverse but is getting much better at forwards, but can't seem to stay in a straight line. Hopefully when she takes to the streets in a different type of vehicle 14 years from now, we won't be saying the same thing!

Like Mother Like Daughter

I feel the need for a short and sweet post to make up for yesterday's long winded one.

Phoebe has always had an uncanny sense of timing. It truly seems like she knows when she is laughing and at what. Her school aide has a notebook that she writes in most days, letting me know which therapist she saw that day, what they did in class, etc. Last week I read the entry and laughed out loud to myself. It said "Mrs. Larkins was talking to the kids about listening and being quiet when she is talking and Phoebe started laughing so it was kind of hard not to laugh too." I had flashbacks of years worth of progress reports that said "Missy needs to learn to control her talking" and "Melissa disrupts the class by talking to her neighbors". I s'pose she'll ace all the artsy subjects and fail math as well...

Naming Children and Other Natural Disasters

We had such a hard time naming Tessa. It was hard enough picking out Phoebe. Will people be able to spell it (sometimes), will people be able to pronounce it (often not), will she grow up hating it, and therefore us, because of it? (I doubt it) Besides when it came down to it, she just looked like a Phoebe. Now Tessa came to us with a name already. I had a slew of over-analyzations, regarding her birth history. Would she long for the name that was the only thing her birthmother ever gave her? Did the name have meaning to her or was it just one that came to mind? I actually really liked the name she was given at birth but there were practicality issues, like family members rhyming. I also felt that if we were going to become her parents did we not deserve the privilege of choosing her name? It was a struggle that resurfaced often during the eight months we waited to find out if we were even going to be considered to adopt her. When we found out we could, we decided that yes, we would choose a new name for her. She was still an infant and would probably adjust with no problem. So we debated and flip flopped, and I even told the attorney's office that her name would be Delaney, a combination of letters from her birth names that I thought would somehow make up for removing the name from her completely. That just didn't sit well with us and a few days later I called them back and we changed it to Tessa. It just fit. I was pretty sure the spelling and pronunciation problems were solved, but the final question, would she grow up hating us for it? We'll see. It was several months after the adoption and the name change that I Googled it to see if there were any famous Tessa's out there. The website http://www.tessa.org/ came up and my curiosity was piqued. When I clicked on it and saw the name The Texas Severe Storms Association I knew it was meant to be! We often call her Hurricane Tessa, because nothing can stop her, and she leaves a wake of destruction in her path.

So I was thinking about my yin and my yang and all the ways they have proven to be opposites thus far. Tessa is a ball of energy that never slows down. You just know that if she's awake she's moving, probably through a bunch of stuff you don't want her to. I was trying to decide if there were any natural disasters that compared to Phoebe in a similar way. After a debate with my friend Heather over which is worse, California's earthquakes or Texas' tornadoes/hurricanes, I decided that Phoebe is like an earthquake. She is quiet and sedate most of the time, with little rumblings that are just under the surface and no one notices until BOOM! everything is chaos. Then just as quickly life returns to normal and you forget about the danger that is there, just under the surface. Like when she gets sick (all of February this year, yippee) she couldn't call out "Mama my tummy hurts" like Tessa did, thereby allowing us an opportunity to be prepared. She woke up in the middle of the night and threw up all over her bed, jarring us from peaceful sleep only to find that the chaos was already over and now we just had to clean up after it. 6.3 on the Richter scale. Or the times she has surprised a caregiver with a "love bite" in the arm. 4.8 Or the time she jumped off the couch hitting her head on the coffee table giving herself a concussion. 7.5 My argument with Heather was that at least a Hurricane or Tornado has some warning. Initially you know that there is a storm coming, and then as it gets closer they tell you to be on "watch", then if you are in serious danger there are sirens and you know to hide in the bathroom and hold on! Earthquakes go years in between without a disastrous one, but when it hits it could be "the big one". After years of living with both types of disasters, the literal and figurative ones, I call a tie.

The Proof is in the.....Mud?

Oh, I only wish it were pudding. But I must say that whenever our family passes a bug around Tessa has it the shortest. Amazing immune system. We were passing time at Buffy's house (Buffy is the ex-wife of my second cousin, now married to a BP agent, and mother of several boys, the youngest being Sam, 3, not related to us because he's from marriage #2. Got it?) So, we're hanging out at Buffy's house, Phoebe enjoying "her" rocking chair, me enjoying some adult speak, and Tessa playing with her best buddy, Sam, in the backyard. The little ones sounded like they were having lots of fun so Buffy went to check on them and squeeled, then locked them out. I knew I was in for it. The last couple of times she played out there they had found some potting soil and apparrently showered in it. Do you know how hard potting soil is to get out of dark, curly hair? I do. I grabbed my camera and went to check out the damages. This time they found a patch of freshly watered grass and created a mud pit...when I asked her if she ate it, she replied gleefully, "YEAH!".

Share and Share Alike

I was laboring over a photography blog, trying to get it just so, make it look professional and useful for potential clients at least until I get a "real" website up and running, when I had one of those days. You know, where things are so crazy you start to realize how easy prison life really is. Those people can sleep 23 hours a day if they want to! And can the food really be any worse than the ramen or Lean Pockets I consume late at night once the kids are finally in bed? I doubt it. And I bet they don't have to change a single poopy diaper all day. So anyway, after one of those days, I was met with one of those moments where you know your kids have won. You keep a straight face trying to retain some dignity but they have WON. You don't even bother with discipline because it only wears you down. I realized I just have too many of these days (pretty much every other one) and it wasn't fair of me to keep all this drama to myself. So I whipped up this little blog to share with everyone. Plus, when my kids are grown I can use this as evidence in court. Evidence of what you ask? I'm not sure, but I have no doubt it will prove useful!

Easter 2008

Tim's parents drove out to visit us in March and we spent a week with them including Easter. On a day that Tim had to work I took them to see the Tumacacori Mission with the girls. The garden there was beautiful, and Tessa did her best to bring it home with us.

We all went to the Old Tucson Studios to see some Western movie sets and paraphernalia. Tessa liked driving in the cars with Gramma Pat and Papa Bob.

And panning (or should we say digging) for gold with Daddy.

The boys went shooting one day. Lots of fun. The girls went to Madera Canyon and played in the snow. More fun.

Relaxing after a long day. Oreos anyone?

I was giving Phoebe a bath (you can see her foot in this photo) when I left the room for 20 seconds Tessa decided she wanted one too.

I coerced the family into a few photos on Easter Sunday. They turned out great! I'm glad I did.

Tessa thought the visit was lots of fun and couldn't stand to go to bed one night when the adults were watching a movie. She snuck out of bed and stayed in the hallway so she wouldn't be noticed.

Fun with Gramma Jo

My mom came out to Arizona to help manage the kids during Tessa's surgery and recovery. It's nice that mom's job allows her to work from any computer, so that she could relocate to our house for a month. The kids loved the extended visit.

Eating at a buffet with soft serve ice cream - Gramma's favorite!Gramma is great at giving rides of all kinds; in boxes, on her back, on her legs, bouncing in the jumpolene...Talking to Pa Pa on the phone.

Walking in Madera Canyon snow. Eating the snow, throwing the snow...

Sneaking into bed with Gramma was fun since her futon was right next door to Tessa's room. Poor mom did not have a comfortable bed but I think she secretly enjoyed living next to the computer. Back at Madera Canyon when the snow was melting. Tessa's bandages didn't stop her exploration.

Phoebe always wants to walk. Tessa became fairly fascinated with anything medical. She used the real stethoscope auntie Shawna gave her to check on Dallas' condition. Mmmm, kettle corn from the neighborhood fair.

Making healthy peanut butter cookies.The Gauntt cousins couldn't bear the thought of Gramma being so close but not with them. James and Elizabeth stayed with us for a weekend and Mom was able to squeeze in a few days with them before going home.

Tessa's Surgery

Tessa was born with postaxial polydactyly, an autosomal dominant trait; an inherited anomoly found in all races but more predominant in children of African descent. She was born with seven digits on her left hand - a thumb, four typical fingers, one very small finger, and one tiny digit made of soft tissue only (no bones or muscle). The seventh was clamped and fell off at home when she was one month old. The sixth digit on that hand did not bend very well and she did not seem to have much control or use of it. Her right hand had a thumb, four typical fingers, and an additional finger that looked like a typical pinkie, that she was able to bend and control fairly well. She was born with syndactyly as well on her right foot - an extra digit webbed in with two others. When a neighbor first noticed her fingers (after many months of being neighbors) she was astonished and pointed it out to her husband. His reply was, "oh, cool, just like my mom" which shocked his wife as he had forgotten to mention for the last decade or so that this was a family trait! Since his mom's extras had been removed, her daughter-in-law never knew she had been born with polydactyly. Most people born with poyldactyly have had the extra digits removed at birth, which is why it seems so uncommon; we rarely (if ever) see someone with more than the usual twenty. It occurs about once in every 100 African American female births. More common in males, less common in Caucasians. Asians with this gene typically have an extra thumb, whereas Africans have post-axial, or outside, little fingers. Interesting, huh?

Well, we consulted with orthopedic doctors right from the start and the general assumption was that she should have them removed. I didn't oppose the idea, but they recommended waiting until she was a little older for the surgery. By the time we moved, found new doctors, and needed to make a decision Tessa was about 18 months old. Her hands were strong and coordinated, people rarely noticed her extras and they were just beautiful little toddler hands. Now the decision to remove those adorable fingers seemed so much harder. There was the possibility that she could be teased, but there also was the possibility that she would be considered unique. One hand seemed fully functional while the other had a pinkie that did not really function. The surgery could go as planned or there could be an error or an unexpected problem and she could lose the use of her whole hand. Not to mention the risk of general anesthesia. There were cons for every pro I could think of. The deciding factor was when they did full X-rays and found that the extra digits didn't have growth plates. In children, a growth plate is located at each end of a long bone, eventually forming into bone itself. It determines the future size and shape of the bones. Without growth plates, it was likely that the extra digits would not grow as the other fingers did and would become more and more different and probably less functional by the time she was an adolescent. We decided to proceed with the surgery. Marked for accuracy. Not a big confidence booster. The x-rays showed her 6th fingers were connected all the way to her wrist. Very unusual to have polydactyly that well formed. In utero, our hands and feet start out like paddles, and as we grow the digits seperate. People with polydactyly just keep growing and splitting, or with syndactyly (webbing) they don't split.

They found on the x-rays that her extra toe was actually the one in the middle of these three webbed toes. It didn't connect all the way to her foot like the others. They decided to just remove the outside toe anyway (what was number 5, rather than number 6) because it was easier and they weren't going to undo the webbing. Apparently that is a much more complicated surgery than the removal.

Waiting for the doctors.

We had taken some comfort things for her, one of which was a stuffed lambie that she liked at the time. They let her take it in to the operating room with her, and when we came out the nurse had wrapped the lamb's three limbs in similar fashion to Tessa's. We had to wait in the post-op room until she could keep some sips of water down and be somewhat awake and coherent. Total time in and out was just a few hours.

She was feeling pretty crummy, groggy and clingy after the surgery but it didn't last long. By the next day she was learning how to use her new oven mitts to do all of her usual activities. I had asked the doctor to leave her thumbs exposed from the bandages so she wouldn't get too frustrated, but I'm not sure that was even necessary. The oven mitts didn't even slow her down!

Ta-da! Checking out the results after the bandages came off. She was intrigued by the stitches but never seemed to notice a difference in her hands. Thankfully, she still had complete use of her hands, full strength and highly developed fine motor skills.