13 Years of Wedded Ignorant Bliss

After the girls were in bed I was indulging in a little me time and was watching Becoming Jane. Tim woke up for work when I was in the middle of it and I didn't want to turn it off. After a few minutes he asked me "What is this?" to which I replied with the name of the movie and briefly described it as a portrayal of the life of Jane Austen. He then asked me in all seriousness "Who are Jane and Austen?". I could not help but burst into fits of raucous laughter. Not at his ignorance of English Literature but at the fact that he has been married to ME for 13 years and during several of those years the Complete Works of Jane Austen sat on my bedside table (seems to have been buried in the many years of moving boxes but certainly still a favorite). I wrote my first novel at the age of ten (okay, okay, it was only one chapter, but still), I constantly had my nose in a book until the age of 14 when boys became somewhat more important, and I got my (however meager) degree in Arts and Humanities after we were married. Does this man know me AT ALL? Did he really just ask me who Jane and Austen are? Followed by (because I was still laughing and he was left to his own attempts at guessing) "are they royalty or something?". Even after I divulged that Jane Austen was one person, he still looked perplexed. I explained that as a writer her influence was surpassed only by Shakespeare himself, to which he replied, Oh. I was seriously starting to question the validity of our marriage, but the conversation turned to work and he was explaining why he needed to borrow my tripod, and I had to ask "what's a MILK cam?" to which he burst into laughter. Now, whatever this milcam thing is cannot possibly compare in relevance to Jane Austen, but it did help me remember that whenever he tries to make me watch Family Guy or some sci-fi horror flick I get out of it by threatening him with Anne of Green Gables. And that some of the very few movies we watched in the theatre this year were The Other Boleyn Girl (amazing!), Juno (LOVED IT!), The Shooter (eh, Tim loved it), and American Gangster (um, loved Denzel....). So I guess there just has to be that give and take philosophy to marriage, and every once in a while you find something that you have in common or can tolerate surprisingly well. I can't believe I actually know lines to Super Troopers and Tim can recite half of French Kiss! And we will both stop what we're doing to watch Oh Brother Where art Thou. Despite our opposing interests I'm sure that our kids will think we are both weird...

Happy Birthday Two Binkies

Cousin Elizabeth (or Wibiff as Tessa pronounces it) spent the night with Tessa at Grandma Pat's house. She is still talking about the kitty, "pull tail, meow, bite".

My girls are back! They've been home for one week now and it's almost like they never left. Except that Phoebe is actually letting me leave her sight for a few moments at a time and Tessa seems to be completely potty trained! Days and nights! WOOHOO! Now, we've been working on it for a year but at 2 1/2 I can't complain. Anyway, life is back to normal, even though it's not. The girls seem to be comfortable already in our new house and Tessa seems very happy with her big girl bed. I have to admit it wasn't feeling like home, even after three weeks here, but the girls have rushed that along this week. The house is alive with voices and movement.

Tessa sang Happy Birthday to her binkies as she went to bed last night, holding a binky in each hand.

Fun on the Fourth

Tessa dressed in her R,W and B. With cute little piggies. We'll see how long they last!

At the Santa Ana Zoo. Phoebe looks nervous doesn't she? I would be too!

I guess Tessa was so excited to go eat lunch she just wanted to hurry up and get everyone in!

Phoebe just followed this dog around the beach and laughed.

Tessa feeling patriotic...

The gang watching fireworks on the beach. Phoebe liked them as long as she had warning that they were coming. Tessa enjoyed them this year but kept her ears covered the whole time. After they got home they helped her call me so she could tell me all about it. I had no idea who was calling me but when I answered here's what I heard: "MAMA! popcorn! purple! red! fireworks! blue! popcorn! beach! fireworks! stars! purple! popcorn!" At least those were the words I could understand. I wish I could have recorded the conversation because she was SO annimated. We had some monsoon lightning storms, but that was the extent of the fireworks we got to see in Arizona. Tim was at work of course, so her call was the highlight of my night. Very entertaining!

A good end to a good day. Dessert!

Vacation Time

While Tim and I labor away in the Arizona summer heat trying to get the new house settled, the girls escaped with Auntie Shawna and her family to California. My mom sent a bunch of photos to fill me in on my girl's summer vacation without me. I attached her captions whereever they made sense as she tells the stories of their adventurous days.

June 17 Tessa at the beach. The first time all she wanted to do was shovel sand into her cup “bucket”.

Phoebe was content to sit on the wall and watch Tessa.

June 29 Grandma Jo with James, 9, Tessa, 2 1/2, Elizabeth, 10 3/4, and Phoebe, 6 3/4.

June 29 Tessa just woke up from a nap and I gave her a fishing pole. As she was walking by to go outside to fish (she had not seen the fish yet) as she was walking towards the door the magnet fish line stuck to the fridge. You should have seen her expression as she turned around to see who grabbed her fishing line. At this point she had no idea why it was sticking. Here is Tessa’s first fish. Also had to take her pants off as she put one leg into the water to get a better angle at the fish.

Phoebe and Tessa at the fully accessible playground at Tewinkle park in Costa Mesa. My family met the parents of Angel, whom the park is named after. They named her Angel because the doctor said she wouldn’t live more than a couple of hours but she proved them all wrong. There were some photographers there that day and several of them took photos of Phoebe on the swings. This was a couple of days after the grand opening.
(news stories about the park: http://www.dailypilot.com/articles/2007/11/24/politics/dpt-tewinkle24.txt and http://www.dailypilot.com/articles/2008/06/27/politics/dpt-angels06282008.txt)


On Saturday we found Elizabeth’s old boat. Tessa thought she should have both ends of the rope like a horsy ride. She decided to try the bigger boat and insisted that SHE take charge and maneuver the paddle (kind of went around in circles for a while).

June 25 Tessa in the Discovery museum climbing the wall with Auntie Shawna's help.

I'm an Auntie x6!

Congratulations to Tim's sister Julie on the safe delivery of her first child, Jaleina Marie, born July 3rd. This little girl gave everyone a good scare and put her mother through the ringer but all are well now. Congratulations Lance and Julie!

Our House

Other than being in the state of Arizona, our new house feels like it has everything we need and want. By building new we were able to make some customizations that work better for our family, and for the use of a wheelchair in the house. We not only picked the school district and the neighborhood, but the street and lot. It was pretty fun to start from scratch. Here are a few photos of the house in progress, beginning in Nov/Dec with paperwork and finishing construction in June. We closed escrow on June 18, 2008.

Before they broke ground.

Foundation is in. The portion closest to the camera is the third car garage which enters into the house. We had them slope it up to the entry rather than have a step up.

Framing is up and we can start to visualize the interior. Here the girls sit in the door from the patio to the kitchen.

Seeing the house on the lot, I start to wonder if choosing the lot with the biggest back yard in the neighborhood was really the wisest idea. How much will it cost to landscape this thing? I know I want grass, I am not a desert rock kinda girl, so how much will our water bill be??? Glad we have space between us and the neighbors though.

It was fun picking out the paint scheme, cabinets, floor tiles, carpet, lighting, faucets, even the door handles. Here is Tessa in front of a slab of our granite. She looks so little!

Drywall is up so we can see the floorplan now. We visit often and tell Tessa which room is hers, Phoebes, etc. She recognizes the pecan groves we drive past on our way here, and knows which one is the new house and which one is the old house. We had a picnic here one day.

Tessa likes to play in the dirt in the yard, collecting nails and throwing rocks. She has a fit if I stop by the house and she doesn't get to leave the car. We decide to add on a large paver patio in the back to help cut down on the mud during monsoon season.

Sure enough, just a couple weeks after moving in, the rain begins and seemingly never ends...

Summer Hair

My neighbor Kibby has a salon in her house and I figured she would do a better job cutting Phoebe's hair than I usually do. I was right. I asked for the very trendy Asymmetrical bob and it turned out so cute! Phoebe has perfect hair for it. It curls under, shows all the angles and I don't even have to point out her incredible highlights. She has the hair that every curly headed person I know would love to have!

Tessa's natural curls are enough to make Shirley Temple fans go nuts. This photo is post-pool so it's a little shaggy, but I took it because her curls air dried and that's when they look the best. Perfect little corkscrews.

My other neighbor Margaret used to do hair and did these fishtails on Tessa one day when she went over there to play. I had told her that I wanted to have Tessa's hair braided but couldn't find anyone who knew how, and my carpal tunnel hands would never last! Having only two braids made it fall out by the end of the day (I'm hoping that having multiple braids will make it last longer). But boy was it cute for a day!

L.Y.L.A.S. (Love Ya Like a Sista!)

It's fun to watch Tessa growing into a little girl, as she shows us more and more imagination, mimicking, and interest in those around her. As the mother of these two beautiful girls I have often wondered what their relationship will be like, knowing that no matter what it will be unique. Yesterday we watched as Tessa initiated a game with Phoebe. She would shake Phoebe's chair and Phoebe would laugh, she'd shake it again and Phoebe would laugh some more. (Phoebe has always found Tessa's antics amusing, but this was one of the first times we've noticed Tessa very obviously doing something to entertain Phoebe) When we play outside she likes riding her tricycle (she's a pro now) and I chase her with Phoebe. She gets a huge kick out of it and will say "gonna getchoo" as she pedals off away from us, but then she will slow down and let Phoebe grab the bar on the back of her tike. She has also recently become very concerned when she hears Phoebe crying when she wakes up and runs in to see her. Then today, another act of sweet, sisterly kindness was displayed by Tessa giving Phoebe some dog kibble to snack on. I let them into the garage and told them to play there for a minute (after which I ran back into the house to vacuum the family room since I can't do it when Phoebe is in earshot). When I returned to the garage all seemed well until I heard a crunch, crunch and knew that I had not sent them out there with any snacks. Tessa had put some kibble on the tray of Phoebe's chair and Phoebe naively trusted her sister's gift. Ah, it brings back memories...

Too Old

I have to admit that there are many days when I wish that Tessa would grow up a little bit faster. I have to remind myself that she is already pretty grown up for being only two. Even though she can count to twenty she doesn't understand age, so we have been coaching her to answer the people in the grocery store who inevitably ask "how old are you?" by replying "I am two years old". After a few coaching sessions I tried it out and asked her to reply to someone who asked. Her reply to "how old are you" was "TOO OLD". Perhaps a subliminal reminder to enjoy these early years while they last?

Some of her funny sayings lately:
ARTURO = Oh Toodles (from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse)
Thank you Mama! - unprompted after giving her anything she likes (cheese and crackers, her sippy cup....)
Tickle Phoebe - a way to get the attention off of her
Unexpectedly saying the names of any of our neighbors, their kids, dogs, etc. (example; garage door opens next door, Tessa yells MARGARET!, driving by the elementary school, Tessa yells JANET! (Phoebe's aide) )
Ooooollllllddd house - versus the new house. We tell her we are going to see our new house and she recognizes the route now. She also knows the route to the park and Sam's house and sometimes has a meltdown when we turn the opposite direction.
Hammer her - Hamburger, which I think is weird that she says this because she always declines tasting one
Combo - as in meal at a fast food restaurant. We just about burst at the seams one time when we bribed her to be good at the grocery store with french fries afterwards and before we got to the menu board to order she yelled out "Combo!".
Malbublaubuaulauabuurjfdjdualubalublurhfbululb - I have no idea but it always ends with something intelligible like "throw ball Dallas". She likes speaking in complete sentences but can't get the words out fast enough so she just makes some up.
Treeeeeeasure, treeeeeasure - the song the Backyardigans sing while playing pirates and looking for treasure. She grabs any piece of paper for a map and tells Dallas to come with her to find the treasure.
Green Bag - the bean bag chair in our family room where she likes to watch tv. Sometimes when she's sick or just crabby she begs for it. I found her sleeping there this morning at 5am.
Tail - her bum, which she likes to wag as she calls it a tail.
Excuse me - She started saying this a long time ago, mostly when tattling on anyone near her who burped and didn't say it themselves, but now it has expanded to other appropriate uses. It's just cute to her hear say it when a little boy bumps into her at the playground, or she walks in between two people. Makes me just a little proud since I never hear kids using manners when I'm out in public.
Beazey - As she's twirling in circles and making herself dizzy.
And last but not least, BOINGA! - Another Backyardigans moment, but it's so cute because she just unexpectedly jumps on you as she says it.
I'm sure there's a hundred more but I wanted to get some down at least before they were forgotten. As she is now sharing with everyone who asks, she is already "Too old".

The Graduate

Today was kindergarten graduation for Phoebe. I remember being so scared to send her to preschool when she was three. Now I think we are both scared for summer vacation when she will be home all day! She really loves being with other kids, and of course her aide Janet was like a back up mommy to her. I know she will miss being around all of them.

The photo above is of the class giving their "presentation" (singing songs). Phoebe is on the far right and Tessa is standing near her watching the class. She couldn't decide whether to sit or stand, watch or participate so she did a little bit of everything. Phoebe was falling asleep in her chair as the parents were arriving, but once the class started singing she was excited to do the hand motions along with them.

After the presentation, the class left the room and lined up outside to do the graduation walk. While the room was empty Tessa decided that an empty stage is a bad thing and volunteered to fill the void. She got right up where the kids had been and gave a little song or speech or something. It was too quiet for me to hear but she didn't seem shy about it at all. She stayed there for about a minute giving her own presentation, complete with hand gestures, to the audience.

The event concluded with the calling of names and presentation of diplomas. Phoebe was the last name called. I didn't move up in the world much by marrying a W. Photo below is Phoebe receiving her "diploma" from Mrs. Larkins with Janet's help.

Confessing My Addiction

I didn't even realize that I was addicted until I was forced to go without....technology. Now, I'm not talking about full-on, hard-core pioneer days here, but that's what makes it so pitiful.

~ About two weeks ago my cell phone was stolen. Okay, I left it at the mall playground, but I realized it very quickly and ran back to get it only a couple of minutes after leaving it and it was already gone. Later, I found out that some honest person (apparently there is still one out there) saw it and tried to get it back to me by calling some of my MyFaves people. He finally left a message on Tim's phone saying that he would leave it at the movie theatre office, presumably since the theatre was near the playground. This person did not make ANY other phone calls, downloads, or anything else that would have cost me money. Then he gave it to someone else, who more predictably was not honest, and I have never seen it since. I was able to suspend the account before anyone else tried to use it, so I'm only out about 20 bucks for an "upgrade" fee. It does weird me out knowing that I had some pictures on there though. I miss my phone. It was a nice phone. Nothing special, but it was thin and fit nicely in my pocket or purse, it also was a flat phone so I couldn't hang up on people accidentally like I always seem to do on a flip phone. The first day I was without it I was almost in a panic over not having it. Like a lifeline that has been cut. I can't call my friends at any random moment. I am coping better now, waiting impatiently for my replacement to arrive. What did I ever do without a cell phone???

~ Tim, being the handy guy that he is, took his truck apart in order to fix a valve or something. I don't know what it is. Tim, being the hard working guy that he is, has not had time to complete the project in over a month now, and therefore has to take the van to work most nights. Some nights he can carpool and at least he's working nights, so there are only a few hours of each day where I would even be able to go anywhere, but just knowing that I can't makes me feel somewhat claustrophobic. I never thought I'd miss the van. How do people ever survive without at least two cars per family? Even more unimaginable, how did they survive without cars at all? They farmed, I guess.

~ Our computer is dying. It won't be long before it joins all of the other piles of electronics in the great motherboard in the sky. I have to admit I have grown to love cable, more than I ever thought possible, for internet access. Light years ahead of DSL and let's not even talk about dial-up! But lately with our computer issues, hitting "enter" has resulted in 20-30-even 45 second wait times for a new page to load. This is a significant difference from fractions of a second. You laugh at me, I know, but try counting to 45 and then tell me just how long it really is. See??? You didn't even try it because you knew how long and boring it would be!

~ Okay, this one is just for laughs. Anyone else got Tivo? Well, DVR, I mean. I still call it Tivo because that was the first one we had, so like BandAids and Kleenex, they will all be called Tivos now. Anyway, one of my favorite things is the instant replay button. You can be watching anything on TV, not recorded, just regular live TV, and if you want to rewind it a few seconds you hit the instant replay. Well, I find myself hitting an imaginary replay button in the car when listening to the radio. It's like second nature now, if I missed something I hit replay and viola, I get a second chance to hear/see it. I find myself wondering when technology will catch up to all my ideas of how to make life convenient. Like, being able to email someone a tv program from my tv. That way I don't have to save all my Alaska recordings until I get around to taping them for Dad. I could just email it to his tv and be done with it. Good idea huh? I am already ahead of the current level of technology. :) I am fretting at being without my conveniences and anxiously awaiting more. Totally addicted.

Life in the Fast Lane

Tessa got a tricycle for Christmas and has only had occasional interest in it up until the last couple of weeks. I think it is the weather right now, enticing all of the neighborhood kids out into the street to play in the evenings. She really watches the bigger kids when they are riding. She goes faster in reverse but is getting much better at forwards, but can't seem to stay in a straight line. Hopefully when she takes to the streets in a different type of vehicle 14 years from now, we won't be saying the same thing!

Like Mother Like Daughter

I feel the need for a short and sweet post to make up for yesterday's long winded one.

Phoebe has always had an uncanny sense of timing. It truly seems like she knows when she is laughing and at what. Her school aide has a notebook that she writes in most days, letting me know which therapist she saw that day, what they did in class, etc. Last week I read the entry and laughed out loud to myself. It said "Mrs. Larkins was talking to the kids about listening and being quiet when she is talking and Phoebe started laughing so it was kind of hard not to laugh too." I had flashbacks of years worth of progress reports that said "Missy needs to learn to control her talking" and "Melissa disrupts the class by talking to her neighbors". I s'pose she'll ace all the artsy subjects and fail math as well...

Naming Children and Other Natural Disasters

We had such a hard time naming Tessa. It was hard enough picking out Phoebe. Will people be able to spell it (sometimes), will people be able to pronounce it (often not), will she grow up hating it, and therefore us, because of it? (I doubt it) Besides when it came down to it, she just looked like a Phoebe. Now Tessa came to us with a name already. I had a slew of over-analyzations, regarding her birth history. Would she long for the name that was the only thing her birthmother ever gave her? Did the name have meaning to her or was it just one that came to mind? I actually really liked the name she was given at birth but there were practicality issues, like family members rhyming. I also felt that if we were going to become her parents did we not deserve the privilege of choosing her name? It was a struggle that resurfaced often during the eight months we waited to find out if we were even going to be considered to adopt her. When we found out we could, we decided that yes, we would choose a new name for her. She was still an infant and would probably adjust with no problem. So we debated and flip flopped, and I even told the attorney's office that her name would be Delaney, a combination of letters from her birth names that I thought would somehow make up for removing the name from her completely. That just didn't sit well with us and a few days later I called them back and we changed it to Tessa. It just fit. I was pretty sure the spelling and pronunciation problems were solved, but the final question, would she grow up hating us for it? We'll see. It was several months after the adoption and the name change that I Googled it to see if there were any famous Tessa's out there. The website http://www.tessa.org/ came up and my curiosity was piqued. When I clicked on it and saw the name The Texas Severe Storms Association I knew it was meant to be! We often call her Hurricane Tessa, because nothing can stop her, and she leaves a wake of destruction in her path.

So I was thinking about my yin and my yang and all the ways they have proven to be opposites thus far. Tessa is a ball of energy that never slows down. You just know that if she's awake she's moving, probably through a bunch of stuff you don't want her to. I was trying to decide if there were any natural disasters that compared to Phoebe in a similar way. After a debate with my friend Heather over which is worse, California's earthquakes or Texas' tornadoes/hurricanes, I decided that Phoebe is like an earthquake. She is quiet and sedate most of the time, with little rumblings that are just under the surface and no one notices until BOOM! everything is chaos. Then just as quickly life returns to normal and you forget about the danger that is there, just under the surface. Like when she gets sick (all of February this year, yippee) she couldn't call out "Mama my tummy hurts" like Tessa did, thereby allowing us an opportunity to be prepared. She woke up in the middle of the night and threw up all over her bed, jarring us from peaceful sleep only to find that the chaos was already over and now we just had to clean up after it. 6.3 on the Richter scale. Or the times she has surprised a caregiver with a "love bite" in the arm. 4.8 Or the time she jumped off the couch hitting her head on the coffee table giving herself a concussion. 7.5 My argument with Heather was that at least a Hurricane or Tornado has some warning. Initially you know that there is a storm coming, and then as it gets closer they tell you to be on "watch", then if you are in serious danger there are sirens and you know to hide in the bathroom and hold on! Earthquakes go years in between without a disastrous one, but when it hits it could be "the big one". After years of living with both types of disasters, the literal and figurative ones, I call a tie.

The Proof is in the.....Mud?

Oh, I only wish it were pudding. But I must say that whenever our family passes a bug around Tessa has it the shortest. Amazing immune system. We were passing time at Buffy's house (Buffy is the ex-wife of my second cousin, now married to a BP agent, and mother of several boys, the youngest being Sam, 3, not related to us because he's from marriage #2. Got it?) So, we're hanging out at Buffy's house, Phoebe enjoying "her" rocking chair, me enjoying some adult speak, and Tessa playing with her best buddy, Sam, in the backyard. The little ones sounded like they were having lots of fun so Buffy went to check on them and squeeled, then locked them out. I knew I was in for it. The last couple of times she played out there they had found some potting soil and apparrently showered in it. Do you know how hard potting soil is to get out of dark, curly hair? I do. I grabbed my camera and went to check out the damages. This time they found a patch of freshly watered grass and created a mud pit...when I asked her if she ate it, she replied gleefully, "YEAH!".

Share and Share Alike

I was laboring over a photography blog, trying to get it just so, make it look professional and useful for potential clients at least until I get a "real" website up and running, when I had one of those days. You know, where things are so crazy you start to realize how easy prison life really is. Those people can sleep 23 hours a day if they want to! And can the food really be any worse than the ramen or Lean Pockets I consume late at night once the kids are finally in bed? I doubt it. And I bet they don't have to change a single poopy diaper all day. So anyway, after one of those days, I was met with one of those moments where you know your kids have won. You keep a straight face trying to retain some dignity but they have WON. You don't even bother with discipline because it only wears you down. I realized I just have too many of these days (pretty much every other one) and it wasn't fair of me to keep all this drama to myself. So I whipped up this little blog to share with everyone. Plus, when my kids are grown I can use this as evidence in court. Evidence of what you ask? I'm not sure, but I have no doubt it will prove useful!

Easter 2008

Tim's parents drove out to visit us in March and we spent a week with them including Easter. On a day that Tim had to work I took them to see the Tumacacori Mission with the girls. The garden there was beautiful, and Tessa did her best to bring it home with us.

We all went to the Old Tucson Studios to see some Western movie sets and paraphernalia. Tessa liked driving in the cars with Gramma Pat and Papa Bob.

And panning (or should we say digging) for gold with Daddy.

The boys went shooting one day. Lots of fun. The girls went to Madera Canyon and played in the snow. More fun.

Relaxing after a long day. Oreos anyone?

I was giving Phoebe a bath (you can see her foot in this photo) when I left the room for 20 seconds Tessa decided she wanted one too.

I coerced the family into a few photos on Easter Sunday. They turned out great! I'm glad I did.

Tessa thought the visit was lots of fun and couldn't stand to go to bed one night when the adults were watching a movie. She snuck out of bed and stayed in the hallway so she wouldn't be noticed.